We all search for joy in different aspects of our lives—relationships, achievements, and even in the material things we acquire. But what if I told you that joy isn’t something you need to chase or find? What if it already exists within you, waiting for you to realize it? In this blog, we’ll explore how understanding yourself is the foundation for living a joyful life and how reconnecting with your inner child can unlock the happiness that’s already there.
The Foundation of Joy
The journey to finding joy isn’t about accumulating more—more success, more recognition, more things. It’s about understanding yourself and embracing the joy that already resides within you. To fully appreciate life, you need to first appreciate yourself. Joy isn’t an external destination; it begins and ends with you.
“True joy comes when you stop searching for it externally and start creating it within.”
My journey to understanding myself began in college with several management-style tests. I discovered I was an ENTJ personality type—structured, logical, and driven. While it felt empowering at first, this categorization also gave me an unintended identity of judgment toward others. For a long time, I judged people based on whether they fit into my perception of what was “right.” It was only years later, when I took the Strengths Finder 2.0 test, that I found out my top strength was “Analytical.” That realization helped me understand why my corporate roles felt like a constant uphill battle. They didn’t align with my true strengths, nor did they bring me joy.
This journey into self-awareness helped me uncover a foundational truth: joy isn’t about meeting external expectations; it’s about embracing who you are and creating a life that aligns with your true self.
Finding Joy Through Self-Understanding
Understanding yourself is the foundation of joy. Without knowing what brings you fulfillment, it’s easy to get lost chasing things that don’t actually matter to you. For me, joy lies in simple things: seeing my parents smile, watching my friends win at what they love, witnessing someone have that “aha” moment, playing sand volleyball, being around water, writing, and strategizing.
Take a moment to reflect on what truly brings you joy. It doesn’t have to be grand or complex. It could be the laughter of your loved ones, the sense of peace you get when you’re near nature, or the satisfaction of solving a challenging problem.
Reflection Exercise: What Brings You Joy?
- Make a list of activities or moments that make you smile or give you a sense of peace.
- Identify any patterns—what do these activities have in common?
- Think about how you can incorporate more of these joy-bringing activities into your daily life.
“Joy is often found in the simplest of moments—if only we slow down enough to notice.”
Dreaming Like a Kid Again
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about joy is to reconnect with my inner child. Remember how, as kids, we dreamed without limitations? We didn’t think about the “how” or the “why.” We just wanted to build, create, and explore.
I’ve always loved Legos, solving puzzles, playing mini-golf, and connecting people. As I grew older, I found ways to bring these elements into my adult life: I pursued a career in software, worked with data analytics, built a mini-golf course at one of my Airbnbs, and even installed a hot tub because, as a kid, I always thought that was cool.
The concept here is simple: give your inner child the credit card. Let that kid have a say in how you live your life today. Sometimes we grow up too fast and forget that it’s okay to want the things we dreamed of as children. So, what did your inner child always want, and how can you give that to yourself today?
Personal Reflection: Becoming My Inner Child’s Advocate
One of my Airbnb properties needed a unique amenity to create a memorable guest experience. That’s when I remembered how much I loved mini-golf as a kid. I thought to myself, “Why not build a mini-golf course?” And so I did. By reconnecting with my inner child, I brought something into my adult life that not only brought joy to my guests but to me as well.
“Sometimes joy is simply giving yourself permission to do what you’ve always wanted to do.”
Overcoming Obstacles to Joy
It’s easy to lose sight of what brings you joy, especially as you grow older, gain more responsibilities, and face societal expectations. There are a few common barriers to joy that I’ve encountered:
1. The Pressure to “Grow Up”
Growing up often comes with the pressure to be serious, to focus on work, to achieve more, and to let go of “childish” things. However, these “childish” things might be what makes life enjoyable. Don’t let the pressure to be an “adult” rob you of your joy.
2. Fear of Failure
Many of us stop pursuing our dreams because we fear failure. We might not pursue a creative career, a passion project, or even a simple hobby because we think we won’t be good enough. Fear is the enemy of joy. By letting go of the fear of failure, you give yourself the freedom to explore, create, and be happy.
3. Living for External Validation
I’ve experienced firsthand the trap of living for external validation. In the early stages of my career, I chased the recognition of others—trying to be the top performer, the best salesperson, the most successful. But no amount of success could bring the joy I sought because it wasn’t my true calling. I had to learn that joy comes from within—not from validation, praise, or accolades.
Personal Story: Overcoming My Own Obstacles
Between 2019 and 2023, I doubled my income and purchased three properties in 18 months. On paper, I was doing everything right. But I felt lost. I realized that what I was doing didn’t align with my true self, and that’s when I shifted my focus from purely material success to what brought me fulfillment—helping others, creating meaningful experiences, and building authentic relationships.
“True joy is found in doing what you love, not in impressing others.”
Reconnecting with Your Joyful Self
To rediscover and cultivate joy in your life, you need to give yourself permission to dream again, to explore the activities you loved as a child, and to find ways to bring that into your adult life.
1. Dream Like a Kid Again
What did you dream about when you were younger? What activities made you lose track of time? Give yourself permission to bring those dreams to life today. It could be as simple as signing up for an art class, planning a fun road trip, or spending time in nature.
2. Pursue Projects That Align with Your Joy
One practical way to reconnect with your joy is by taking on projects that excite you. For example, I took on Project 50, a 50-day challenge to prioritize my health and dedicate an hour each day to a new skill. By focusing on activities that I loved and projects that challenged me, I reconnected with what made me truly happy.
3. Be Present in Every Moment
Joy doesn’t only reside in our big dreams. It also resides in the little moments that fill our daily lives. Take time to be present—whether it’s savoring a warm cup of coffee, watching the sunset, or having a meaningful conversation with a friend. Life is made up of moments, and true joy is about appreciating each one of them.
“Joy is not in things; it is in us.” —Richard Wagner
Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs
Another key to finding joy is letting go of limiting beliefs—those false stories you tell yourself about who you should be or what you should want. For example, you might believe that you need to make a certain amount of money to be happy, or that you need to have a particular job title. But joy isn’t about meeting a specific standard; it’s about being content with who you are.
Personal Reflection: Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs
In 2017, I co-founded a company that aimed to help entry-level job seekers avoid spending years in a career they hated. What I found during my research was that most people didn’t know what they wanted to do. They were following a path that they thought was expected of them—whether by their families, society, or even themselves. I realized I had been doing the same thing. Breaking free from my own limiting beliefs about what success should look like allowed me to start living for myself and find joy in my choices.
Conclusion: Joy Exists in You
Joy isn’t something you chase—it’s something you create within yourself. To truly experience joy, you need to understand yourself, reconnect with what makes you happy, and live authentically. Give yourself permission to dream like a child again. Take on projects that excite you, be present in the simple moments, and let go of limiting beliefs that hold you back.
“The more you understand yourself, the more joy you can experience.”
The journey to finding joy isn’t always easy, and there will be obstacles along the way—societal pressure, fear of failure, limiting beliefs. But every step you take toward understanding yourself is a step toward a more joyful, fulfilling life.
I invite you to reflect on what brings you joy. Take a moment to dream again, to explore, and to give yourself permission to be happy. Joy
already exists in you—all you have to do is recognize it.
