The Fear of Failure
Is failure inevitable? It’s a question many of us have asked ourselves. We often fear failure, assuming that it marks the end of our progress. Yet, what if we shifted our perspective to view failure not as a stopping point, but as a critical part of our journey toward success? Failure can feel daunting, but it’s an integral part of growth, learning, and eventual achievement.
Throughout my own life, I’ve failed at things that I thought would be my key to success. But looking back, those failures provided me with some of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned. This isn’t just my story—it’s universal. Everyone from successful entrepreneurs to world-class athletes has faced failure, and they all echo one truth: Failure is inevitable, but it is also essential.
Why Failure Is a Necessary Part of Success
From [Someday Is Today]
In order to progress, you must fail first—the more you fail, the closer you’ll get to success. Failure helps you recognize where you went wrong, and it forces you to make necessary adjustments. It sharpens your skills, refines your mindset, and makes you more resilient.
Failing gives you direct insight into what works and what doesn’t, allowing you to pivot and correct your course. Every attempt after failure becomes an opportunity for improvement as you apply what you’ve learned.
Consider this: how many times did Thomas Edison fail before he succeeded in inventing the light bulb? Thousands of times. When asked about these failures, he famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
The more we fail, the closer we get to unlocking our potential. It’s not about how many times we fall—it’s about how many times we get back up, each time with a better understanding of what needs to change.
Avoiding Failure in a Random World
From [Fooled by Randomness]
The world is unpredictable. Sometimes, success can seem to come by pure luck, and failure can feel inevitable even after a lot of hard work. While randomness plays a role in life, smart decisions and preparation will help minimize the chances of catastrophic failure.
In his book Fooled by Randomness, Nassim Nicholas Taleb reminds us that success built on hard work and smart choices is more lasting than success built on luck. While we can’t always avoid randomness, we can avoid exposing ourselves to risks we can’t handle. Relying on luck, such as gambling on risky ventures, leaves you vulnerable to the unpredictability of life.
Instead, it’s vital to approach each challenge strategically and realistically, knowing that some things will be out of your control. Prepare for risk by understanding what you can afford to lose, and accept that sometimes, failure is just a part of the process.
The “Five Whys” Technique: Uncovering the Root of Failure
One way to learn from failure is to uncover its root cause. Often, the surface-level reasons for failure are not the true cause. Using the “Five Whys” technique, you can dig deeper to find the fundamental reason for your setback. Here’s how it works:
- Ask yourself why things didn’t go as planned at the most surface level.
- Ask yourself why that was the case, digging a layer deeper.
- Repeat the process three more times until you’ve asked yourself “why” a total of five times.
- By the fifth “why,” you’ll have a clearer understanding of the core issue.
Let’s imagine you failed to get a graphic design job you applied for. Using the “Five Whys” technique might look something like this:
- Why didn’t I get the job? Because my style didn’t match the company’s needs.
- Why didn’t my style match? Because my designs are simpler than the intricate designs on their website.
- Why are my designs simpler? Because I’ve mostly designed for local businesses, not large corporations.
- Why do I focus on local businesses? Because I tend to apply for smaller jobs I feel confident I’ll get.
- Why do I only apply for smaller jobs? Because I fear rejection.
In this example, the root cause of failure isn’t just that the design style was wrong—it’s about a fear of rejection that led to smaller job opportunities in the first place. By uncovering the true cause, you can take actionable steps to overcome it.
Failure Should Be Normalized, Not Feared
Society often teaches us that failure is something to be ashamed of or to avoid at all costs. This mindset creates fear and anxiety, causing many people to either avoid taking risks altogether or to quit when they fail. But the truth is, failure is not something to fear—it’s something to embrace.
We need to normalize failure as a part of the learning process. Failure isn’t the end of the story; it’s merely a chapter in the larger narrative. Stop being afraid of failure and instead use it as a playground for growth. Do your best with what you have, and if things don’t go as planned, iterate. There’s no need to suffer through failure—simply learn from it and move on.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill
How to Redefine Success After Failure
From [Ego Is the Enemy]
One of the reasons failure can be so crushing is because we often tie our egos to our success. Our sense of self-worth becomes wrapped up in our achievements, so when failure happens, it feels personal.
Ego can make failure harder to accept because it blinds us to the mistakes we’ve made. It encourages us to sugarcoat the truth or to place blame elsewhere. However, to truly learn from failure, we must set our ego aside and honestly assess what went wrong. Only by acknowledging our mistakes can we correct them and avoid repeating them in the future.
To redefine success, focus not just on outcomes but also on efforts and improvements. Success doesn’t have to mean that every project works out perfectly. It can also mean that you learned a new skill, improved a process, or became more resilient.
Developing a Growth Mindset to Embrace Failure
From [Mindset]
Carol Dweck’s concept of a growth mindset is essential to overcoming failure. People with a growth mindset believe they can improve through effort, practice, and learning from mistakes. In contrast, people with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities are set in stone, making failure feel like a reflection of their inherent limitations.
A person with a growth mindset sees failure as an opportunity to improve. They understand that failure isn’t a permanent reflection of their abilities, but rather a stepping stone on the path to success.
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” — Henry Ford
The Importance of Accountability
Accountability plays a crucial role in how we deal with failure. If we’re accountable to ourselves and others, we are more likely to learn from our mistakes and less likely to give up.
From [The 12 Week Year]
Accountability is the act of taking ownership of your future by making the right choices, even when the going gets tough. Building accountability in your life includes:
- Stopping the victim mentality: Instead of blaming external factors, take responsibility for your actions.
- Avoiding complaints: Complaining doesn’t change your situation; action does.
- Changing behavior: If your current approach isn’t working, be willing to adjust and pivot.
- Surrounding yourself with positive people: Your environment shapes your success. Surround yourself with those who hold you accountable and push you to grow.
Conclusion: Failure Is the Key to Success
In the end, failure is inevitable, but it’s also invaluable. Every setback brings with it a chance to learn, grow, and refine your approach. Instead of fearing failure, welcome it. By adopting a growth mindset, taking accountability, and viewing failure as an opportunity, you transform what seems like a roadblock into a stepping stone toward success.
Takeaway Question: How will you use your next failure as a tool to propel you forward?
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” — Henry Ford
Thank you for reading and being part of this journey!
