When you think about habits, what comes to mind? Many of us find ourselves stuck in routines—good or bad—that seem impossible to break. Whether it’s the craving for sweets after dinner or the drive to check your phone first thing in the morning, these small behaviors add up and shape much of how we live. The question is: can you really change your habits? The answer is yes, but it takes more than just willpower. It requires a shift in mindset, a conscious effort, and the willingness to believe that lasting change is possible.
If you’re here, you might be wondering how to get started on that journey. Or perhaps you’re already on your way but need more guidance. In either case, know this: most people can change their habits. However, only a few change how they view the world and how they show up in it. Let’s explore how habits shape our lives, how to break free from the negative ones, and how to build a life around the positive ones that drive your success.
The Science Behind Habits
Let’s begin with understanding the psychology and science of habits. According to James Clear in Atomic Habits, habits are automatic behaviors that are triggered by cues and reinforced by rewards. For instance, you see a cookie (cue), eat the cookie (routine), and enjoy the sugar rush (reward). This loop becomes ingrained over time, and before you know it, you’re reaching for that cookie without even thinking. In fact, research shows that over 40% of our daily actions are driven by unconscious habits.
Your brain forms habits to save mental energy. When you do something repeatedly, your brain creates neural pathways to make that action automatic. Imagine driving a familiar route to work—after a while, you stop actively thinking about the turns you need to take. This is your brain being efficient. It conserves energy for more complex decisions by putting routine behaviors on autopilot.
Conscious Effort to Change
But what happens when you want to change a habit? The first step is awareness. You have to recognize your habits before you can change them. According to Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, habits develop through three predictable steps:
- Conscious Thinking: You first learn about the habit and its impact on your life.
- Doing: You practice and experience the habit, processing it both physically and emotionally.
- Being: The habit becomes part of your identity, an unconscious behavior ingrained in your everyday actions.
It all starts with conscious thought, followed by consistent action. You can’t just change a habit by saying, “I want to stop procrastinating.” You need to actively identify what triggers your procrastination, replace the negative behavior with a positive one, and reinforce the new behavior until it becomes part of who you are.
Belief is Key
“Do you believe you can change your habits?” This is a fundamental question because belief is an essential part of habit transformation. Many of us feel the pull of old, ingrained habits—whether it’s smoking, overeating, or negative self-talk—and think it’s impossible to break free. During these moments of doubt, belief becomes your anchor. You must believe that you can overcome your cravings and decide consciously how you want to act.
In my own experience, I’ve found that fasting, for example, has challenged my ability to discern my cravings versus my actual needs. The more I resisted the pull of old habits, the stronger my belief in my ability to change became. Confidence grew out of consistent, conscious decisions, leading to new, healthier habits.
James Clear emphasizes this in Atomic Habits: If you want to change your behavior, you need to change your underlying beliefs about yourself. For example, if you want to be more assertive, but you still believe deep down that you are timid, your efforts to be assertive won’t last. True change comes from altering your identity, not just your actions.
Habit Loops: Cue, Routine, and Reward
Let’s revisit the habit loop we mentioned earlier—cue, routine, reward. According to The Power of Habit, every habit involves these three components:
- Cue: A trigger that signals your brain to begin a behavior.
- Routine: The behavior itself, which can be physical, mental, or emotional.
- Reward: The outcome of the behavior, which reinforces the habit.
For example, if you feel stressed (cue), you might reach for a bag of chips (routine) and experience temporary comfort (reward). This creates a habit loop that is hard to break.
To form new habits, you need to hack this loop. Identify the cue, replace the routine with something healthier, and ensure the reward is satisfying enough to reinforce the new behavior. If you want to stop snacking when you’re stressed, for instance, you could replace the routine with taking a short walk or practicing deep breathing. The reward could be the sense of relaxation or mental clarity you feel afterward.
Breaking Bad Habits
Bad habits, on the other hand, need to be made as inconvenient as possible. One of the most effective strategies to break a bad habit is to remove the cues that trigger it. If you tend to check your phone first thing in the morning, place it in another room before you go to bed. The added inconvenience of having to get out of bed to check your phone makes it less likely that you’ll engage in that habit.
Similarly, if your bad habit is snacking late at night, don’t keep unhealthy snacks in the house. The harder it is to access the trigger, the easier it will be to resist the habit.
Identity-Based Habits
The most lasting habit changes come from identity-based shifts. Instead of focusing on the outcome—like losing weight or getting a promotion—focus on becoming the kind of person who achieves those things. For example, if your goal is to be fit, instead of saying, “I want to lose 10 pounds,” tell yourself, “I am the kind of person who exercises regularly and eats mindfully.” This shift in self-identity makes it easier to stick to habits because your actions are aligned with who you believe you are.
Jason Drees, in his coaching programs, wisely states: “You can’t plug a strategy into a mismatched mindset.” If you don’t believe you’re the type of person who can achieve success, no strategy will help you maintain the habit.
Daily Habits for Success
Success isn’t built in a day—it’s built in your daily habits. From waking up early to journaling, exercising, or reading, the small actions you take each day compound over time. Start by creating a list of habits that align with the person you want to become. Keep them small and manageable at first—James Clear calls these “atomic habits” because they are tiny, but they pack a powerful punch when done consistently.
For example, if your goal is to write a book, your daily habit could be writing 200 words every morning. Over time, this small habit adds up, and before you know it, you’ve written an entire book. The key is consistency and starting small.
Conclusion: A Personal Journey
In my own journey of changing habits, one of the most powerful reminders I’ve received came from a mentor who asked, “Why not you?” Why can’t you be the one to break free from your old habits and build the life you’ve always wanted? Why can’t you be the one who achieves the things beyond what you or your family thought possible? The truth is, you are capable of greatness, but it starts with the small, daily habits that shape your life.
Remember, habits are not just about the actions you take—they are about the person you become. So, ask yourself: who do you want to be? And what habits will help you get there?
“You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” — Aristotle
